路怎麼走你自己選

今天，星期一，Database第一次Programming Project繳交。這兩天我頭很大，毛很多。想到星期六晚上的毫無頭緒，一路自己摸索，解決，卡住，困難，很多很多小小的關卡，直到今天下午還有de不出的小bug。有很多來回iteration，下午最大的夢想，是晚上能夠好好地認真地煮個飯，不再抓蟲子。

四點鐘，Karl助教敎我使用"show warning"幫我找出問題的癥結。真是太好了! 晚上好像是這個月來頭一次細心又專心地煮飯來吃。白菜梗的部份要切細，葉菜的部份可以大片，同時放下去煮可以一起熟，這是我的接觸面積理論。小毛第二次煮菜，就會把梗梗分開，先炒，真有天份!

離題了! 我今天認真地煮了香菇蒸肉，炒白菜，以及黃瓜胡蘿蔔雞肉(?)，覺得有點幸福。

寫這個project的同時，認真地想著下半年的計畫。我不像惶急地逼迫自己趕快開始了，真的。一月到五月(六月?)，看看Peter能夠給我什麼工作、或是建議我做什麼樣的功課來準備自己，在美國台灣都可以。我想把自己準備好，再來開始學習，做新的研究。想想這樣真好。

不急。

Horoscope says ...

Your idea of the future isn't based upon ungrounded fantasies; it springs directly from your common sense, combined with an unflappable determination. But you may lack precision in your thinking today which can derail your plans. Giving yourself permission to dream can be rejuvenating, but don't make any decisions until you reconsider the situation next week.

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Definitely keep that in mind :p

迷惘

我覺得，對自己的不滿足，支配著對未來的不確定性。我一直在學校裡面，摸索著。以前做的事情，現在做的事情，在心臟電生理實驗室跑的模擬，Design Team 後半段電路與程式設計方面的缺憾(雖然我還是很認真參與，teammate也很愛我 )，使我自我感覺不良。

This is what driven me to Stanford to pursue a degree in computer science.

However ... 也許是時候做些實際的事情了呢。

包著computer science外皮的我，其實還是藏著BME骨。最想做的事情，還是許多有用的BME儀器喲。也許今年一月，我要努力找一家medical device company的internship。真的。

今天收到實驗室老師Natalia (Dr. Trayanova)的e-mail，他被選為今年Hopkins的Brody faculty Scholar。他謝謝我們對實驗室以及為她認真工作，很真心的。我與有榮焉。 :*)

I really have nothing to complain about my Hopkins experiences. Except, I really should have gained more technical background in ECE/CS back then.

Meeting Pei-Lin

I got to hang out with Wu Pei-Lin and Eugene again this weekend. I am so grateful that they again drove all the way to Stanford and took me out. We went to IKEA. :) I picked up a rug to cover the stained part of the carpet in my room.

Pei-Lin is such a lovely girl you don't normally meet. :) Luckily we were 1st grade classmate in elementary school (She was rank #1 and the chair of my class), and 1st year high school, too! I felt like life always treat fairly well to people with good nature. She is leading a good working life here.

I like how she cheered me up with her unique bright laughters. :*) I as well thanked Eugene who bore me with occupying Wu Pei-Lin for such a nice stretch of Sunday afternoon.

Meeting Makibi

Yesterday was a blissful Saturday, breezy, sunny, typical CA good weather. I got Makibi's text message around noon. He happened to be at Stanford campus. We went out for a coffee at Peet's. :") Was my first try of soy latte, and it somehow has a thicker taste than the milk version. By the way, Makibi looks just opposite with his new near-sighted glasses and sunglasses on. :p It was pretty funny. He was totally a (nerdy) study-kind person with his near-sighted glasses on.

We chatted, and had a real in-depth talk about long-distance relationship. I will remember all the advice given by Makibi (exactly what TJ has told me). Knowing it is hard to begin with, things I should learn during the long-d relationship are more than I can imagine. Easier said than done.

I was so happy to meet him, knowing that he is doing good here at CA; He enjoys his work (has been working pretty hard), takes jazz piano lessons (practicing pretty hard), cooks, learning Chinese, and seeing Lisa, his girlfriend, every weekend. :) It's different from B'more life. He gets to learn, and gets to do things alone. However, people make most progress during these transition period. This is when we learn more about ourselves and become a better person. :)

Arriving at Stanford

今天開始騎了腳踏車行走校園，我不停地不停地迷路。花兩倍長的時間到達目的地。

微風吹過的感覺真好。

我過了一個有好多朋友陪伴的週末。可是啊，就算是這樣幸福的情況，我還是很想家。我跟Eleen說，"Thanks for spending your precious SF time shopping and moving with me. I feel bad." Eleen, "why feel bad. sa gwa". 吳培琳(&Eugene)也跑來陪我，帶我買了中國食品們，去逛Mountain View一個Art Festival喝咖啡 :)

Jaclyn & Tsui跟去年一模一樣，還是不停吵嘴讓我大笑。Gao的屁股都不見了，每天騎車上坡到位居半山腰的Great SF的家(Oxford 955)。

日子傻傻地過，一下子就會明年春天了。現在這樣想家想家的日子總會過去。

There was a Child went Forth

(From Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman )

There was a child went forth every day;
And the first object he look’d upon, that object he became;
And that object became part of him for the day, or a certain part of the day,
or for many years, or stretching cycles of years.

The early lilacs became part of this child,
And grass, and white and red morning-glories, and white and red clover,
and the song of the phoebe-bird,
And the Third-month lambs, and the sow’s pink-faint litter, and the mare’s foal,and the cow’s calf,
And the noisy brood of the barn-yard, or by the mire of the pond-side,
And the fish suspending themselves so curiously below there—and the beautiful curious liquid,
And the water-plants with their graceful flat heads—all became part of him.

The field-sprouts of Fourth-month and Fifth-month became part of him;
Winter-grain sprouts, and those of the light-yellow corn, and the esculent roots of the garden,
And the apple-trees cover’d with blossoms, and the fruit afterward,
and wood-berries, and the commonest weeds by the road;
And the old drunkard staggering home from the out-house of the tavern, whence he had lately risen,
And the school-mistress that pass’d on her way to the school,
And the friendly boys that pass’d—and the quarrelsome boys,
And the tidy and fresh-cheek’d girls—and the barefoot negro boy and girl,
And all the changes of city and country, wherever he went.

His own parents,
He that had father’d him, and she that had conceiv’d him in her womb, and birth’d him,
They gave this child more of themselves than that;
They gave him afterward every day—they became part of him.

The mother at home, quietly placing the dishes on the supper-table;
The mother with mild words—clean her cap and gown,
a wholesome odor falling off her person and clothes as she walks by;
The father, strong, self-sufficient, manly, mean, anger’d, unjust;
The blow, the quick loud word, the tight bargain, the crafty lure,
The family usages, the language, the company, the furniture—the yearning and swelling heart,
Affection that will not be gainsay’d—the sense of what is real—the thought if,
after all, it should prove unreal,
The doubts of day-time and the doubts of night-time—the curious whether and how,
Whether that which appears so is so, or is it all flashes and specks?
Men and women crowding fast in the streets—if they are not flashes and specks, what are they?
The streets themselves, and the façades of houses, and goods in the windows,
Vehicles, teams, the heavy-plank’d wharves—the huge crossing at the ferries,
The village on the highland, seen from afar at sunset—the river between,
Shadows, aureola and mist, the light falling on roofs and gables of white or brown, three miles off,
The schooner near by, sleepily dropping down the tide—the little boat slack-tow’d astern,
The hurrying tumbling waves, quick-broken crests, slapping,
The strata of color’d clouds, the long bar of maroon-tint, away solitary by itself—the spread of purity it lies motionless in,
The horizon’s edge, the flying sea-crow, the fragrance of salt marsh and shore mud;
These became part of that child who went forth every day, and who now goes,
and will always go forth every day.